motherhood

Motherhood is the chance to fail miserably each day and then have one little success wipe it all away.  It is the chance to laugh at myself, sometimes simply out of delirium, but to laugh nonetheless.  It is a chance to prove to myself, in a way that I never understood before, that I am capable and strong when I need to be.  It is the chance to appreciate my own mother in ways I never imagined and to understand just how strong she is.  It is the chance to feel like a miracle-worker in one little man's eyes.  It is the chance to learn what it really means to do whatever it takes because doing the best I can has never mattered so much.  It is the chance to get really clear about what I believe and then go about standing for that in the world because it is bigger than me now.

My two favorite quotes for myself right now and for Jack one day are:

"If you haven't made ten mistakes today, you're not trying hard enough."

and

"Success is the ability to move from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."  

Jack's most recent gift to me is the willingness I feel to take big risks, to look the fool or fail while trying my darndest to be amazing for him and for me.  I hope that I can help him come to welcome mistakes as a chance to learn and grow and to see failure as simply the other side of the coin of success.  I think in my own life I have been more afraid of failure than I care to admit, but I am beginning to realize --especially with this little witness beside me at all times -- that it is mediocrity that I fear the most.  And so, thanks to Jack, I am beginning to accept my imperfections with a little more kindness and embrace falling flat on my face here and there in the name of success.  

Ironically, he is teaching me what I hope to one day teach him.