my new little man

Jack was quite sick last week and has emerged from his illness as a new man.  At first I was only aware of how much more easily frustrated he gets and how quickly he spirals into full tantrums with ear-piercing screaming.  Then I noticed he is more aggressive and more risk-taking (i.e. pushing all limits he had before now accepted and honored).  Then I noticed that he seems to need me more than ever and closer to him than ever . . .or said tantrums immediately ensue.  Needless to say, since we spend all day everyday together, this new set of behavior is utterly tiring in its constancy and concerning at first.

Then something else happened.  Words.  Lots of them.  In English and in Spanish.  Some on their own and some combined with the sign language that we gave up on long ago.  Words in the appropriate places to communicate wants and needs and  so many other words that he simply repeats as we use them -- which he never did before. 

bravo, thank you, please, no more, bubbles, ball, hi, hello, bye bye, adios, agua, gracias, buenas dias, ball, pelota, more, mas, go, up, down, cereal, hot, help, stinky, dirty, bath, apple, goldfish, book, stop, leche, that, dog, baby, mama, papa, Tyler, Annie, Abby and on and on . . . these do not even include the words that he repeats but is yet to quite use that I can tell.  Today when someone asked his name at the park, I put my hand on him and said "Jack".  Then he pointed to himself and said "Jack" with a smile on his face looking right at the person who had asked.  

He sings actual words in songs and recognizes melodies, anticipating the words or sounds that are coming.  He belts it out when he sings.  He has amazing rhythm and the ability to keep a steady beat with any variety of musical tempos or styles.  Yesterday in our music class -- in which for over a year now he has mostly just observed although he would come home and repeat everything he observed --well, yesterday, it was like I took another child to class.  He participated 100 % and had a wonderful time.

And one of my greatest joys is the fact that last night, for the first time since he was very little, he wanted to sit on my lap and have me read to him.  He actually sat through two books saying words with me and pointing at things  -- again, these things were not happening before.  And then he said "please.  more.  please."

My relationship with this little man is the most challenging one of my life, especially as of these last four or five days, but I am speechless as to how it feels to watch all of this unfold right in front of me with a backdrop of intense tantrums and meltdowns.   I realize now that it is all connected and that he is going through an amazing, magical and difficult growing pain of sorts and I am along for the ride . . . and a truly magical ride it is.